Here I am

New dawn...

2007-08-15T07:29:00.000-07:00

Not having posted for about 18 months, I have no idea what to write about. So many things have happened...mostly great things. I'm of to Amreeka again...this time for a Masters...in Public Health of all things! How I went from an Econ and Math double major to a candidate for an MPH in Global Epidemiology is a bit woozy to me too. Suffice to say I'm off and this blog has been rejuvenated. I maintain that I only blog when I'm away from home...something about the ranting and whining I do here has the same effect on me as being home cocooned by the family. A few pertinant things to mention about the jaunt to the US this time around:

I'm going to Emory University which is in Atlanta which is in southern United States for my fellow geographically challenged collegues.
It's an all expenses paid trip. And I mean ALL EXPENSES paid.
I will miss my family very much this time around...especially Abbo.

Cheerio

2 months and counting...

2006-02-28T23:25:00.000-08:00

So it has been a little over 8 weeks since I started calling the city of lights my home again. It has been a....shall we just leave it at an interesting? transition. I had such high aspirations...I thought I won't be able to stay at home all day; that I'll go crazy etc. etc. Saari hawa phus!!! :D I became the laziest bum there ever was!!! It was glorious! Getting up whenever, doing whatever all day, fighting with the younger siblings, soaking up maternal (and to a certain extent paternal) favoritism.....ahhhhh.....bliss I tell you!
As to the addmisions front....3 rejections and a waitlist so far. But umeed pai dunya qaim hai! And I beleive (and am praying most fervently!!) that the bulawa will come! After all I'll only be going to ONE place. So ONE acceptance is all I am asking for.

2005-12-30T07:43:00.000-08:00

3 more days before I call Karachi home again...

Ummm...

2005-12-27T05:31:00.000-08:00

What do you say when your younger siblings say they look up to you? Even when it fills you with pride, all the not so good things you've done, flash before your eyes. You feel like shouting to everyone who's put you on a pedestal that you have feet of clay, that you are ofcourse only human, and you have, and will countless times again, made mistakes. You've just been fortunate enough to've made them where no one of consequence was present, you've made them in front of people who are highly unlikely (I hope!!) to meet your family. Or you've made them in front of/with very very good friends who are going to keep your confidence till death do you part.
Moral of the story: please please please keep in mind, I am human, and have done many things I am not proud of.
On a lighter note...7 more days till I'm home.

I am a college graduate!!!!

2005-12-22T18:58:00.000-08:00

I have one more paper to finish but its my independent study and the prof is in no hurry to get it. I will get it done before I leave for Pakistan. I only slept for 3 hrs last night. Was finishing up a paper. Saw King Kong today. I don't know, I didn't like it very much. It is very very sad. Makes me want to scream at ourselves for being so prejudiced and bigoted. You can probably tell Im new new out of college :P
More to come soon

2005-12-14T08:07:00.000-08:00

Cheeers!

2005-12-14T08:06:00.000-08:00

Me and Neha, Havovi's friend, at Thanksgiving dinner at Havovi's friends' place

Told you so!!!

2005-12-13T19:28:00.000-08:00

The word "shams" (sun) is feminine, and "qamar" (moon) is masculine. The sun burns itself out to give light and life to everything around, and the moon is muneer, meaning it reflects the light. Within itself it has no light; it radiates the brilliance of the sun. So when we shine as men, the implication is that we are reflecting the glorious light of our women. May Allah Subhanahu wa
Ta'aala be pleased with them.
- Shaykh Abdullah Adhami

Back by popular demand...

2005-12-11T08:01:00.000-08:00

Or not. However the case maybe :D Anyway, as my li'l sis pointed out, its been a long time since my last post. So here I am like the nice big sister I am, updating my blog. So what has been happening in the last couple of months?
Well I finished my "Statement of Purpose" for grad schools. Big relief! Now all I have to do is enter the same ol' boring basic info multiples times in mutiple forms and my applications will be done. I should do that soon, as some of the deadlines are on the 15th :D
Wat else?? Oh yeah...I'm moving back home for 7, 8 months. Will come back to the US sometime in Aug inshallah to start grad school inshallah. Inshallah.
So I will land at Quaid-e-Azam Int'l Airport sometime early on Jan 3rd. And by early I mean the middle of the night between the 2nd and the 3rd. Atleast that's plan. Hopefully no blizzard, or mountain high enough, or valley low enough, will interfere with the above-stated plan.
Yes I will be home for baqra-eid; yes I will be home for Sehban bhai's valima, and a couple of other shaadis in the khandan. Fun.
And last but not least, I will hopefully find a job to do something while I'm in Khi. Otherwise I will probably drive myself and my parents insane :)
So anyone reading this, if you have, or know of a job that an Economics and Mathematics double major, Bachelor of Arts, Cum Laude, from Mount Holyoke College, South Hadley, MA, USA, can do, please let me know. I will be forever grateful.

Luv u bacha jaan!!!

2005-10-23T17:39:00.000-07:00

!!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY OMAMAH!!!!!
Many happy returns of the day
*mmmmmmmmwaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh*

Bragfest

2005-10-20T17:42:00.000-07:00

Things are definitely looking up. After getting such great GRE scores this past Tuesday, 800 on the quantitative section, 630 on the verbal, things are definitely looking up. My list of grad schools is complete, and the winners are: Carnegie Mellon, Iowa State, UPenn, Pittsburg, Rutgers, NC State, Michigan, Minnesota (yes Samar, where Sehban bhai is), Wisconsin-Madison, and believe it or not Harvard. My prof, who happens to be a harvard alum, made me add Harvard to my list.
Inshallah, the rest of the semester will continue in the same great vein.

I know, I know....this one's waaaayyyyyy overdue...

2005-09-12T11:55:00.000-07:00

I profusley apologize to the non-existent audience (younger sisters don't count =P) who read my blog for keeping ya'll waiting a month. I will try to do better.

So what has been going on since I last posted. Well....I'm back in school FOR MY LAST SEMESTER!!!!!!!!!!!! I still can't beleive it!!!! I mean it was just two months ago I was on a standing room only 2K or 2D, trying to keep my nose in my own armpit, trying not to faint from lack of breathable air during the 45 min it took to reach Block N, North Nazimabad from Saddar, stressing abt college apps, A levels, and SATs. It was only 4 weeks ago that I was moving into Pearsons Hall (my first dorm at MHC) all starry and wide eyed at finally living my 10 yr old dream. I fill like watsisname, the guy whole fell asleep for 20 yrs.....oh yeah old Rip. I went to sleep my first night in Pearsons, and when I wake up this morning, it is the last &#$*@&@#*&$ semester of college!!!
I don't think this fact will sink till I am packing up in Dec, giving away the stuff I can't fit in 2 suitcases (which is going to be a whole lot!!), and either flying to Khi or moving into an apartment near my first foray into the real world as a college graduate a.k.a. job. Keeping in mind my financial situation, or the lack of it, I hope and pray that it is the latter.

In other news: I am taking this really cool English class called Literature for Children. The reading assignment: reading childrens' books!! I mean, how cool is that!! We even get to read (or reread in my) case HP!!! But the funny thing is, I dont know any of the books that we will be doing/discussing. I grew up with Peter and Jane and then later Enid Blyton and her famous five, secret seven, circus stories, and ofcourse Mallory Towers and St. Clair. A lot of americans haven't even heard of her!! Their loss I say. So if you haven't guessed it by now, I am very much looking forward to the reading assignments!
Wat else?? Oh yeah! I have (more or less) decided that Carnegie Mellon and Iowa State are very defintely on my list of grad schools to apply. That also reminds me... THE GREs! I have been studying for those too.
Indeed, fun times.

Aakhri blog

2005-08-08T13:47:00.000-07:00

...atleast till I'm back at MHC. The internet at my khala's place in Atlanta is dial up and takes forever. So me of little patience is not going to post nemore. You'll probably hear from me in Sept. So tune back in then. Till then...ciao.

Last post from Iowa (atleast for 2005)

2005-07-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

Yes, indeed. Unless I decide to come here for grad school. Which is a distinct possiblilty. I am 90% sure I'll get in; it's a kick-ass school; and they pay more than other graduate programs. So coming back to Iowa next yr is a very distinct possibly.
Well, what can I say...except that it is over!! Actually it got over yesterday, and if I'd known, I'd have booked my flight for today rather than for tomorrow. I am the only person left here from my program. 4 left yesterday, and 2 left today. So I spent the day packing and cleaning my room. Now that it is all done, all I have to do is go to sleep, wake up, get ready, and head for the airport. By this time tomorrow, inshallah, I will be in Lawrenceville, GA, replete from a dinner of Chicken Biryani. Yum.

Next stop: Lawrenceville, GA

And then they were gone...

2005-07-19T12:17:00.000-07:00

This morning I saw one of the coolest things I have ever seen. 2 of the ISU dorms were blown up this morning. And I saw the event LIVE!!!! Check out the implosion video at the ISU homepage:

http://www.iastate.edu/

I HATE HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-07-16T20:23:00.000-07:00

She could't have done this!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I still cant believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER I HATE HER

P.S. In case u havnt guessed I'm talking abt Rowling; and yes I finished the book 5 min ago.

Ladies and Gentlemen....

2005-07-16T10:01:00.000-07:00

IT'S HERE!!

I have the beautiful dahling in my hand!!! And have started reading (ofcourse, duh!). Am on page 7 right now, so I have 655 more pages to savour. This one I'm gonna take my time, and read slowly.... =D

1 day left!!!

2005-07-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

Just a few more hours before I have HP6 in all its beautiful glory in my hands. Ok, maybe I'm laying it on too thick. But I have to say I am excited abt it. The only books I buy are HP. It'll be $20 but in my estimation worth it. Did I mention I'm excited?

P.S. For the losers who don't know...HP = Harry Potter

Long time, no write

2005-07-11T12:27:00.000-07:00

The title says it all.

If I remeber correctly, there was some stuff going on, but I didn't have the patience or the inclination to put my thoughts in a coherent fashion. Internet outage was a pain the backside. Thank God everything is back to normal!

During the past two days, something else has come up. Or potentially come up is a more apt description. I don't know, I'm still not feeling very coherent.

Went to Minneapolis this weekend. Nice city. Went to the Mall of America, which in case you don't know, is the largest mall in the US and has an indoor amusement park. Like I said to Havovi...So wat? Pissed her off good =P

More than you'll ever want to know abt cornfields and stats

2005-06-23T11:11:00.000-07:00

The third week is ending. The work is getting interesting and I am getting excited abt it. The cornfields are a little higher than when I first came here; they now look more like cornfields than grass. By the end of the summer they will prob be golden and higher than a man. Fun.
I am also seriously thinking abt giving the GRE within the next month. I know a week would be more than enough for me to brush up on the kind of math you get quizzed on it, but I can't make myself open that book. I keep putting it off, which is ofcourse not a good thing. I really want to take it while I'm in Iowa, coz a) I don't have much of nething going on and b) it is so convenient: the test center is right here on campus. Unlike back at MHC where it is 20 mins away in another town. I think I need to set a date and register. Once I've paid the $120 it costs to take the test, I will defintely buckle down and get it over with. Mmmmm.....yes, I think that's what I'll do.

23 and counting!!!

2005-06-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

I feel so old!! I think its more than time that I got out of school, atleast undergrad. Everyone around me is 2 years younger than I am!!! Man makes me feel old.
And yeah, HB to me :D
P.S. Thank you so much everyone for the wishes!

Watup?

2005-06-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

Nothing much interesting to report. This is summer is like being in school...i have to learn new things, i have assignments (sort off), meetings, frustrations...and at the end of it all, I have to turn in a paper and give a presentation. So yeah, this summer is very much like being in school, and very, very, VERY different from my past 2 summers, when I worked at Explo, and my every waking moment was scheduled by some1 else!
This time around, I like the work (or u may say the lack thereoff), but the ppl are a bit limited; there are only 7 of us. At Explo, there were 100(!!) of us counselors. So the pool of ppl you could hang out with was a little bigger.
Hey...you win some, you lose some.

Wo chali, wo chali...

2005-06-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

Here's to my favorite eldest sister...

!!!!!HAVE A GREAT TIME IN ISLO!!!!!

And keep safe.

Can't think of a title

2005-06-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

Well, life in Ames continues on. I was given a bunch of reading to do, so I'm doing that...slowly. I'll get my data set on Wed hopefully, and then the frustration with coding will begin.
I'm keeping this short and sweet. Cheerio.

P.S. More pics from my wild wild week at N.C. State:

http://storm.rsmas.miami.edu/~dkofron/SAMSIpics/

And we have lift-off!!!!

2005-06-07T11:01:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY got internet access in my room!!! For the past two days it felt like I was cut off from the world, even thou I checked my email at the computer lab in the dorm. Anyway, enough of that. On to wat's been happening in the last 3 days.
As y'all probably know, I arrived in Iowa on Sun. I have two words for the Iowa weather: HUMID and HUMID!! Even though the temp might not be so high, but because it is so humid you sweat all the time and basically feel limp. On the upside...the dorms are air-conditioned!! :D
There are 3 women in the program, and we are all sharing a suite. Which basically translates into 2 rooms sharing a bathroom. The other two are roomates, aka I have a room to myself!! In other words, the living arrangement are great! The dorm was built only 3,4 years ago, so its fairly new and in great shape.
Onto my work. This week is basically just orientation and figuring out what we will be doing for the rest of the summer. We have 1 hr meetings introducing us to the 3 different stats software, 3 days this week, and a couple of meetings with our mentors (which are full professors here at the Uni). So basically we have nothing to do!!
The fun will start next week, so stay tuned!

Hiatus

2005-06-04T10:10:00.000-07:00

Back in Mass. Leaving for Iowa tomorrow. I had a great time in Raliegh incase you missed the last 2 blogs! All of us there just clicked together beautifully, from the first day. It seemed we had known each other for weeks, rather than just a couple of days. Now my expectations are really high for my time in Iowa. I know it is naive to expect this sort of dynamic chemistry there, but I can't help myself.
So I wait with some trepedition for tomorrow, when I'll meet the 6 people I will be living with and working with for the next 8 weeks. Will ofcourse post all developments on this blog. So stay tuned.

It's the end, my friends part II a.k.a. Bowling is GREAT!!!!

2005-06-02T18:11:00.000-07:00

I went bowling tonight! For the first time ofcourse! Had a blast, to say the least. I got 4, yes read my lips, 4, as in F-O-U-R, 4 strikes!! And numerous spares!! It was awesome!
Of course I don't remember the number of balls I out in the gutter :P

It's the end, my friends

2005-06-02T11:15:00.000-07:00

So we are nearing the end. The lectures are over and now we have to 'analyze' our data and prepare the presentation for tomorrow morning. I have to say thou, this workshop wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be. I mean, I had a lot of fun hanging out (once I got over the humor thing! :P) I thought we would be spending 2 days in a lab collect data ourselves and then analyzing it, like "real" scientists! But we got handed a disc which already had the data. We were in the lab for barely half an hour, and it was more of a tour than an oppurtunity to learn how applied mathematicians work! So, yes, I was disappointed.
Now I know why I didnt go on with computer science after o'levels: I don't have the patience to debug codes! For the past two days I have been trying to get a stupid program to run!! And I'm working with a math software, not even a real comp lang. My hats off to the all the computer ppl!
I'm off tomorrow afternoon. Will spend abt 36 hrs in Mass then head over to Iowa on Sun. Looking forward to it, hopefully it'll be much better than this workshop!

Day 2

2005-05-31T09:44:00.000-07:00

As I predicted in my last blog, I have gotten used to the humor! :D
Yesterday we went for a cookout at a lake near here. Abt 10 of us ended up playing those kiddy games where you stand in a circle, right palm on top of the person beside you, singing silly rhymes, and trying not to get your hand slapped at the end. We cracked ourselves up. I hadn't laughed that hard in quite a while.
So far the program has been nothing exceptional, except for the fact that I am hanging out with other math geeks! Eversince Budapest, I've developed a taste for math-speak outside of class, and it's great speaking math with the rest of the ppl here.
Tomorrow should be a lot more fun. We are going to go to the lab, and work with the vibrating beam and collect data. Stay tuned for more nerdy details abt this program and my summer in Iowa!
P.S. Check out the group photo @ http://www.ncsu.edu/crsc/ugw05/photo.htm and my team photo @ http://www.ncsu.edu/crsc/ugw05/images/Team4.jpg
P.P.S Don't I have an arrogant smirk on my face!! :D

In Raleigh

2005-05-30T05:17:00.000-07:00

I am in Raleigh!! It is so warm here!! Back in Mass the temp had only climed into the low 70s the past 2 days. But here mid to high 80s: no biggy! Enough abt the weather.
The seminar starts today. I've met a few other ppl who are attending it, and will meet the rest in a few mins. It's kinda sad, but the ppl here make me feel old!!!!! They are not quite as mature as I like to think I am. Or maybe it's just the guys. Women in math are a minority, and its reflected in the attendance of the seminar. There are only abt 8-10 of us out of the 25-30 ppl attending. Maybe I'm no longer used to the immature jokes and sense of humor of teenage/early twenties guys. No offense: I enjoy it immensely! But not all the time! Hopefully I will get more used to it as the days go by. So by the time I'm done here on Fri, I should not feel so patronizing when I go to Iowa next week.
hahhahhhhahha. Sorry abt the patronizing tone of this post. And I really think, it's ME not THEM this time :D

When you have too much time on your hands...

2005-05-26T11:13:00.000-07:00

1. Read the Onion: http://www.theonion.com/
2. Browse other people's blogs and leave randon comments
3. Finish the novel you started 10 years ago a.k.a Anna Karenina
4. Study for the GREs
5. Change your blog template
6. Read every friend's profile on the facebook
7. Read all your scraps on orkut
8. Read all your friends' testimonials on orkut
9. Google sites which whack Bush and read them
10. Change your blog template again!

The start of something great

2005-05-26T10:37:00.000-07:00

Call me wishful, but I have a very strong feeling this summer is going to be the start of something great in my life. No, I haven't met someone. I'm talking about my professional life (such as it is), and consequently my personal life too, for as things stand now, they are one and the same to me.
It is so interesting that eversince o levels, I only know what the next major step in my life is going to be only 3-4 months before it is supposed to happen. The big question in A levels was whether I will come to the US for my undergrad. Got the affirmative in April, when I thought I was supposed to start in Sept. Then came 9/11, and the whole will-I-wont-I visa question. That got settled in Dec and I started at MHC in Jan.
The last 3 and a 1/2 years have been relatively peaceful. Although last summer, the big question was: will I go to grad school after graduating or get a job? I postponed that question when I decided to stay the full 4 years. Since Dec 2004, the big question had been what am I doing this summer? That was answered in March when I got accepted to the REU at Iowa State. I start that in June.
Now the question is, a) what will I do next spring? and b) which grad school will I be going to next fall? Again true to the pattern, I won't know the answer to the questions till only a couple of months before I start. But one thing, is for certain: I will be home next summer, whether I'm going to grad school in the fall or not. I will experience the first khi summer in more than 4 years; eat aam for the first time in 3; and spend more than 4 weeks at a stretch at home in more than 4. June, July and hopefully a large chunk of August 2006 will be spent in karachi, inshallah.
But I guess in the whirlwind that is life (God! what a cliche!!) you only need 1 constant/sure thing, to keep your eye on, so that you don't get dizzy. If there is even a single pinpoint of light in the darkness, you can navigate your way thru the abyss, and come out into the light, even if it is only for a single second.
However this ends, it has been one hell of a journey, and I have enjoyed every single second of it. And you know wat? You ain't seen nothing yet!

Effing Gorjus!!

2005-05-23T16:20:00.000-07:00

YUM!!! couldn't resist putting this up, when I came across it!

'05 YEAH!!!

2005-05-23T10:30:00.000-07:00

I am very very very very happy for all my friends who graduated yesterday. They all looked so cute in their gowns and hats. The commencement speeches were pretty good too. There was a bad moment when the chosen commencement speaker Nina Totenburg of NPR called us a girls' school. I could hear everyone of the 600+ MHC grads and students present there silently go WHAT!!!??? WE ARE A WOMENS' COLLEGE!!!! I guess she didnt read the memo which explained our pride in being the oldest higher education institution for women.
I don't know how next semester is going to be without my friends here. Granted I know some lower class women, but it won't be the same. Oh well, this day would have come. I would have said goodbye to them yesterday no matter what.
THe good news: I can chose '05 as my "social class" i.e. i can come for reunions and stuff with the class of '05!

Talk abt loyalty!

2005-05-22T06:26:00.000-07:00

There are two women on campus from the class of 1930 celebrating their 75th reunion. In a word: amazing. That made me do some arithmatic and realize that I am 2 yrs older than the rest of my class, and that I will be 98 (almost 99) when, or rather IF, I come back for my 75th. Makes me sorta determined to get my PhD in 4 yrs, so that I can "catch up"!
Reunions make me nostalgic and scared. Where the hell will I be in 2, 5, 10, 40 or 75 years?

Come one, come all

2005-05-18T07:49:00.000-07:00

This post is to remove any confusion about who is welcome on my blog once and for all: EVERYONE is. That includes my li'l sister's friends, my friends (ofcourse), my friends' freinds, perverts, criminals...Infact the whole damn world!
If you have time to waste, you're more than welcome to waste it here :D
oh and P.S. Me = Aatekah

What do u do...

2005-05-16T09:06:00.000-07:00

when people you haven't even met or talked to rub you the wrong way? You just know them from their writing. I've found out that there is something about some people's writing that just turns me off, BIG TIME! Reading what they've written makes me uncomfortable, like I've tasted something ugly. Even though wat the've said is in no way offensive (in most cases; as always there are a few exceptions), but still the impression of the person I leave with is that of a know-it-all, pesky, annoying, too-big-for-his/her-shoes, annoying, did I mention annoying, little shit? I'ts nothing substantial, so I can't even articulate what I found so objectionable. And more often than not, it's just MY problem.
Yes I know I can stop reading their blogs, and in most cases, I've only visited their blog once. But the most ironic thing is, most of these blogs I've ended up on are people my friends read. mmmm....
But then there are some who just leave me breathless.

Dundunadundun!

2005-05-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

I am DONE! Even though the extension I got for my Stats class dragged things out a bit, I am finally done! I have to say thou, this feels very anti-climatic. Khair, I am free! Now I have two more weeks at good ol' MHC, working reunions and earning a little extra cash :D Always helps! Then my summer will start and I will go on my grand mid-west american adventure! I think I'm putting in too many exclamation points in this blog! hahahahha

Famous People who have Failed

2005-05-09T20:47:00.000-07:00

Albert Einstein failed his first college entrance exam at Zurich Polytechnic.

William Faulkner didn't have enough credits to graduate from high school.

Henry Ford forgot to put a reverse gear in his first car.

Lucille Ball of I love Lucy was once dismissed from drama school for being too quite and shy.

A cartoon by Charles Shultz, creater of Peanuts, was turned down by his high school year book.

mmmm....maybe there's hope for the rest of us, but I won't hold my breath!

2005-05-04T19:46:00.001-07:00

Feeling normal again!! :D

2005-05-04T19:46:00.000-07:00

Fish/funny face contest. I won ofcourse! ;)

2005-05-04T19:45:00.000-07:00

It's finals week. Wat do u expect!!??

Time of our lives

2005-05-04T19:22:00.000-07:00

To all those whom I'll be saying goodbye to in less than two weeks. You all rock!

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Green Day-Time of your life

Change of scene

2005-05-02T17:36:00.000-07:00

With the arrival of spring (finally!!) I decided to give my blog a makeover. It goes without saying that it also gives me a chance to procrastinate. Green ofcourse seemed the obvious choice. The campus is finally fulfilling its promise of beauty: green bushes, flowering trees, and gorgeous weather. I sit on the steps of the amphitheater, with the sun on my back and do my work. Although now that I have to start typing up my paper, I may have to move into the lib. Btw, in case neone was interested, 24/7 lib hrs have started. For the ignorant this means, that the lib opened at 10am Sun May 1st, and will not close again till 5pm May 11th (which also happens to be the last day of finals). Spending atleast one night at the lib is a must every semester. See you soon at 3am some night this week.

Pancakes for brunch

2005-05-01T13:18:00.000-07:00

So my new MP3 player is here! Really excititng!! But 6 ppl on campus got caught ripping off music online, so I'm a bit leery of going on one of the P2P networks and downloading. But I still have 200 songs on my computer and cds so its not so bad. And ofcourse I can always get more cds from home! :D
Just 2 more days of classes. Man these 4 months went by fast! It goes without saying ofcourse that I have a ton of work, but I am enjoying myself. Something abt the light at the end of the tunnel, makes it easier to bear the darkness around me.

Eye of the storm

2005-04-26T16:05:00.000-07:00

Now that my Econ final presentation is over and done with today, I find myself in a hiatus before the storm hits again. This Fri, I will receive my take home final for Diff Eq, due the 11th, and right now I'm trying my best not to think abt the Stats presentation next Tues, that i have to read a very irksome 33 page paper for, full of theorems and pesky li'l Math details. Ah well, as they say SUCK IT UP BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!
Even though I have two finals, 2 papers, and 1 more presentation to get thru before the blissful end, I find, I'm not stressed. I have a feeling of deja vu...been there, done that. I just hope this euphoria lasts for two weeks.
On to some better news: I have been asked by my Diff Eq prof, to work with him the whole of next year a.k.a. a job after I graduate in the Dec!!!
I also treated myself to an MP3 player. Specs: Creative Zen Micro 5 GB MP3 Player Silver. The little baby should be here by Fri. Can't wait to meet you sweetheart!!

Whine block

2005-04-25T17:57:00.000-07:00

I didn't believe I would get one of these. They are just so much worse than a simple writer's block. Then you can whine, and with a lil luck get over it. But what do u with one of these?

How the heck do you...

2005-04-21T18:53:00.000-07:00

make those interesting lil thingmajigs appear on the sides of ur blogpage? I am smart enough to realize that you add something to the template, but after having banged my head against the proverbial wall for abt half hr, I am ready to face the fact that moi is not smart enought to figure this out. Surprise, surprise :D
I am ofcourse interested in these things now because they provide me with the perfect excuse to procrastinate! I can (very nicely) justify time spent this way, as I'm learining a "new skill", namely writing java code.
Do I sound like I know wat I'm talking abt?

I'm busy

2005-04-20T08:32:00.000-07:00

don't have time to right nething else.

blah blah blah

2005-04-13T07:30:00.000-07:00

that's all i seem to be hearing nowadays. sometimes, it gets really loud. then ill just sit in my room, staring at nothing, doing nothing. then it gets REALLY loud, with the unfinished work adding to the cacaphony.
other times, its a blessing.

ah desi music....

2005-04-12T18:17:00.000-07:00

after soooo long i thought of listening to my fav oldie (sorta) desi songs. junoon's khwaab, neend aati nahin, khudi, junaid's yeh shaam, samjhana, to name just a few. i miss home!!

That's what I call putting things in perpective...

2005-04-11T18:02:00.000-07:00

In the long run, we're all dead.
-John Maynard Keynes

In the final stretch....or darn near it!!

2005-04-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the Captain speaking. At this point in the semester, I would like to remind you that we have now entered the final 4 weeks. I have turned on the 'fasten seatbelt' sign a.k.a stock up on caffeine, say goodbye to regular sleep and eating patterns, pack your bags in readiness for the move to the library (once 24/7 commences), and generally get ready to go out of your mind. I would also like to remind u that all your professors are 100% behind you, showing their support by giving you midterms so near finals, extra HW and readings, and generally thinking that their's is the only class you're taking, and that you also don't have a social life of your own. Also, in the interest of public hygiene, it is requested of all passengers, to visit the bathroom atleat once a day, during which it is strongly recommended that you brush your teeth (if not floss and/or gargle with mouthwash), AND TAKE A SHOWER. Furthermore, please keep abreast of your laundry, so that you do not run out of clean underwear and are not forced to dig through the dirty clothes laundry basket.
Once again we thankyou for choosing Mt Holyoke College as your college, and hope that you will donate money (very) generously (or we will hound you till you do) once you've (finally) graduated. Also remember us, when choosing a college for your daughter (when you have one, and hopefully you will have put your degree from here to good use, or have atleast been smart enough to marry well, and will pay full tuition).
We wish you a very stressful 4 weeks.

It's all good!!!!!!!!!!

2005-04-04T13:52:00.000-07:00

None down, 6 to go

2005-04-03T12:08:00.000-07:00

This paper is due on Tues at 11am, and I cant seem to concentrate enough to sit down and get started. I've only a written a very crappy intro to the paper, which will prob be edited out completely, so really I've written exactly nada! I think the closer I am coming to the end of the semester, the less I can concentrate on the work. Maybe all that talk of shaadi has screwed me up. Maybe there is an imp in the back of my mind that is insidiously whispering: Why strive? Why work hard, when you will most prob be doing haandi chula (or very much on your way in that direction) this time next year? What use is getting a BA in Economics and Mathematics and getting admitted to one of the top grad schools in the country (I can only hope!!) when you wont be doing nething with it?
I have to admit, I might be weakening. It is very tempting to give this all up, go home, have my mum find me a nice pakistani boy, get married and have babies.
BUT WAT ABT MY DREAMS!!!!!!!!????????? Granted Ive realized all of them and more! But the more I do, there is a whole lot more that I want! Now I am dreaming of getting a PhD from Carnegie Mellon, and becoming the premier Econometrician in Pakistan. And ofcourse there has always been that li'l something in me that wants to be the first female Finance Minister of Pakistan. Unrealistic?? Definitely! But so was me thinking I could come to the US and study at one of the top liberal arts colleges in the country!!!!!
Phew! This was intense!

rain rain go away, come back another day

2005-03-28T17:04:00.000-08:00

so it seems that somebody up there did not appreciate my jubilition abt being able to wear flip-flops. ofcourse it had to rain all day, with nary a peak of the good ol' sun, and the forecast is the same for the rest of the week. the refrain from gloria gaynor's immortal song comes to mind:
i will survive
as long as i know how to love
i know i'm still alive
i've got all my life to live
ive got all my love to give
i will survive
long live female rockers!!! although she might have been more of a diva. as you can see im a bit fuzzy on the details.
on other fronts today: i also got accepted to a week long applied math workshop in north carolina universty of. will be there from may 30th to june 5th inshallah.
it's going to be loooooooong stretch of work time. i dont think i get a break till the iowa thing ends on july 30th. i guess such is the price of building up a resume :)

p.s. this might be the longest post ive written. pat on the back me! :P

And it's flip-flops season!

2005-03-27T13:19:00.000-08:00

I am wearing flip-flps today!! It finally got warm, 50 F!!!! hahahah oh i miss home! but hey..it's warm enuff for me to be wearing flip-flops and just one sweater! granted my toes got a lil chilly when I walked from my dorm to the lib, but they didnt freeze and drop off!!!
AAHHHHHHHHH!!!! Spring is finally here :D

oH weekend...

2005-03-25T17:11:00.000-08:00

thank god u r finally here. but im missing u already! u roll around and roll away, without a thought to my poorself. the week is sooo cruel to me. u r the only haven where i can lick my wounds. but there is not enuff time for the scabs to harden b4 u disappear again, and im left to the not-so-tender mercies of the week.
oH weekend.....i love u. i miss u

2005-03-21T18:52:00.000-08:00

I treat this page more as a whine-fest than nething else. Free therapy I guess.

More woes

2005-03-21T18:45:00.000-08:00

I am ready for this semester to be over. Taking FOUR 300-level classes was NOT a smart idea. Anyone would have told me. Myself included. But did I listen? Oh no no no. I had to take all of those courses! I am sick of working most of the time and even then having it keep on piling.
Whew! That felt good! I do whine a lot!! :D
The most pressing thing is the midterm on Fri, and the 20 page final I need to start researching if I have ne hope of making in A in that class, seeing as I bombed the midterm. Oh well...life will go on. I will go on. Don't cry for me Argentina!

Me again

2005-03-20T15:26:00.000-08:00

Why did break have to end?? I didnot get ANY work done, ofcourse!!! So here I am, one more week of my life gone, and I didn't get anything accomplished. This seems to be becoming a general trend.
There is one piece of excellent news...I have a job for the summer! I've been accepted to a research program at Iowa State Uni. Now you might think that I am without modesty at all, and YOU WOULD BE RIGHT!!!!!!! :D But here goes...
I will be one of 8 undergrads at the program, from all over the US. Pretty nifty, huh? AND It's a National Science Foundation thingy. So if I seem a bit proud of myself, plz forgive me.
Now have to go back to cracking the books.

And i leave tomorrow!!!

2005-03-10T18:12:00.000-08:00

yes that's right!!! spring break finally almost here!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!
don't expect this post to be updated in the next 10 days...not that i update it religiously anyway. but still. i will get back to u guys after im back in this frigid hell hole.cheers!

It's almost here!!!!

2005-03-04T08:32:00.000-08:00

Im talking abt SPRING BREAK babeeee!!!!!!!!!!! No classes, no assignments, no work!!!! Just me, a good book, a few good movies, and...the GRE book!! YaY!!!! heheheh. I think the stress of the past couple of weeks has finally gotten to me.
Atlanta...here I come (in a week) :D

2005-02-28T16:57:00.000-08:00

I know, i know....too long since u guys saw some new pearls of wisdom on this page :P but hey! i had a hectic week. 2 midterms + all the summer research apps due. talk abt working overtime. got my mom worried too when i was out of touch for FOUR days. *sigh* at least its over. now i can concentrate on my stats class which i have shamefully ignoring for the past 2 wks. hopefully the prof will let bygones be bygones...i need a recommendation from him for grad school.
now i gotta go to work. cheers

I ate too much!!!

2005-02-21T15:07:00.000-08:00

Y does the dining hall have to have every good thing at one meal time. There was the desert bar, with make ur own sundae-vanilla icecream, brownies, fried dough, cookies, and all kinds of toppings. *sigh* Then they also had grilled salmon, which I absolutely adore, and seafood salad, and garlic bread. Suffice it to say...I pigged out.
Should really start working out.

2005-02-19T18:33:00.000-08:00

All day today I've had this song stuck in ma head. God save the Queen :P

I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You’re so self satisfied I don’t need you
I’ve got to break free
God knows God knows I want to break free

I’ve fallen in love
I’ve fallen in love for the first time
And this time I know it’s for real
I’ve fallen in love yeah
God knows God knows I’ve fallen in love

It’s strange but it’s true
I can’t get over the way you love me like you do
But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh how I want to be free baby
Oh how I want to be free
Oh how I want to break free

But life still goes on
I can’t get used to living without living without
Living without you by my side
I don’t want to live alone hey
God knows got to make it on my own
So baby can’t you see
I’ve got to break free

I’ve got to break free
I want to break free yeah

I want I want I want I want to break free....

Thankus thankus!!

2005-02-17T18:48:00.000-08:00

u guys just provided me with a much needed laugh!! now if i can only get that damn econometric proof right, i will all set for tonite! :D
luv u samar *mmwahh**

EEEEEEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-02-16T13:35:00.000-08:00

I apologize profusely for the shock you got seeing my picture just below. I know I was taken aback for a min by how good I look!!! :P:P:P
I was hoping for a nice tiny picture in a corner thou. Mmmmm.... Guess I'll have to figure this out.
Oh and if I look a lil chubby in this picture, that's because it was taken this past summer b4 I lost 18, I kid you not, lbs.
More pictures to follow soon hopefully.

2005-02-15T18:20:00.000-08:00

Yup, that's me!!

Why do I leave things for the last minute???

2005-02-15T18:10:00.000-08:00

Can ne1 answer me plz!!!????????

2005-02-13T12:42:00.000-08:00

Happy now Saad??

Long time no see, huh??

2005-02-13T12:22:00.000-08:00

Well i finally decided I should update this page. or should I say that i HAVE to work, but this gives me the perfect excuse to procrastinate. yes...i think that is it. but whateva the reason, those of u who love me, and have time to waste to read this, will be very happy, i'm sure, that im finally writing once again. whew, that was a long sentence. so here goes...
i am swamped with work. but then that is the story of everyone's life. i have homeworks, presentations, tens of pages of reading, tens of pages of writing, quizez, summer research apps, and ofcourse, who can forget the GREs. oh and i also work 10-11 hrs a week. but, the worst part is, the more work i have, the less i want to do it, and the more work i have to do!!!! talk abt a vicious cycle.
oh and hopefully, the pictures from my jaunt in europe will be part of another procrastinatory episode, and will be posted on the web soon.

2005-02-06T17:13:00.000-08:00

I really should make more of an effort to keep this upto date. But what can I say...I'm a lazy ass.

I'm really sore!!!

2005-01-30T16:01:00.000-08:00

I'm really really really sore. Can hardly bend over :D. But it was still worth it!!
p.s. Pictures of my jaunt in Europe coming soon. Stay tuned!

Sleding and other stories

2005-01-29T17:27:00.000-08:00

I am finally unpacked and can walk around my room now, without jumping over things. Decided not to get cable this semester as it costs $100!!!!! Dont have that kinda cash, sorry. So its goodbye to my affair with CSI *sigh*
Went sleding this afternoon. Bumped my lower back when I went over a bump, so will prob be pretty sore tomorrow. Ah well, the price of fun.
This semester is starting to remind of these lyrics:
So lil time
So much to do
I'd rather spend my day with you
Have no idea wat song, or singer. These words and the melody r just stuck in ma head. It hasnt even been a full week of classes, yet I'm already swamped with work.
Welcome back to MHC

Finally unpacked and other stories

2005-01-29T08:27:00.000-08:00

So now all I have to do is break down the boxes. Now I can atleast walk aound the room. And UFFF!!! it hasnt even been a full week of classes, and I already have TONS of homework!!!! Gotta get my butt to the lib. otherwise I'll never get it done. Toodles then

Finally at last

2005-01-25T18:29:00.000-08:00

I'm back at school, and am too tired to right anymore. Goodnight everyone.

Travelling woes

2005-01-24T05:27:00.000-08:00

I don't think I should travel this much. For the past few months, probably everything you can imagine going wrong while flying, and being in one piece--not that I want to tempt fate-- has happened to me. Lost bags, delayed flights, missed connections, lost bags again, and again, and finally the coup de grace...cancelled flight!!! I am sitting in D.C right now, because the mother of all snow storms passed thru Boston this weekend and shut down the airport. Hence my D.C. to Boston flight was cancelled last night. Cheers.
Looking on the bright side--I am alive and well.

Here's to hoping I get a single

2005-01-10T10:05:00.000-08:00

Will find out on the 14th whether I get a single, room back at MHC that is, or have to share with probably a junior class person. Single, plz. Plz single. Plz, plz, plz, plz, plz,.....................

Few and far

2005-01-07T06:49:00.000-08:00

I really hate using the internet in Pak. I may sound like a snotty little bitch, but I have to admit, I am spoiled by the ethernet speeds back at school. The result....this blog is seriously ignored. Only by me ofcourse, as I am the only one who reads it anyway :D
But here's wat's been going on in ma life these 10 days past...
NOTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! and it feels great! hehehehhe. My life will very soon become a hodgepodge of standardized tests, grad school apps, recommendations and those hateful statements grad schools think portray the real u. Oh well, the alternative is to give my mum the green light on the shaadi issue....so i defintely choose the lesser of two evils :D
Only 15 days left in Khi.........................................

I'm Hommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmme!!!!

2004-12-26T01:52:00.000-08:00

I'm very, very, VERY happy to say that I am now in the dirty, noisy, overflowing naalas wali city of Karachi. But I still love it sooooo much, because it's HOME. I think it's the greatest city ever, and I miss doing those things mentioned in the Memoirs of a Karachite (hail to the person who wrote it) so very much!!! To steal a few words from Janet Jackson...
I've seen the world, been to many places....but Khi is the still the best city ever. I have to admit though, that Boston comes in pretty close! :P
Khair, moving on...I think my sisters will get sick of me pretty soon as I am acting like the veriest matthas!!! heheheh, but as I keep telling them, I'm here to laze around!!! :D And it feels $%*!ing great!!!

It's OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2004-12-14T01:12:00.000-08:00

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the semester is over!!!! I have no idea how i did on my last final, but who cares!!!!
now all that's left is to
1. pack
2. do some last minute shopping-gotta get those souvenirs-and sightseeing
3. call the airport to book the taxi
4. wake up on fri
5. take a shower
6. BE ON MY WAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Updating...

2004-12-13T01:11:00.000-08:00

So it's been pointed out to me that i'm the only one who thinks that nething posted here is profound. Well DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is MY blog, ofcourse i'm the only one who will be impressed by its profundity!!! hahhahhahah
i am so full of myself, i love it!!!!!!! :P

5 MORE DAYS n IM HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMME!!!!!!!!

Continuing on...

2004-12-10T02:33:00.000-08:00

So now that my stint in Budapest has come to an end, there are a few things i've found out abt myself:
1. i LOVE karachi
2. i miss home SO MUCH
3. i miss the li'l known town of south hadley, which has been my home away from home these past three yrs
4. im pretty sure i can cruise thru life doing minimal work and resting on my o level laurels. but i need to GROW UP, coz as i read some where "past laurels can become funerals"
5. hungarian is a &%*$ing hard language. these ppl just keep expanding one word until the whole sentence is said
6. being a vegetarian is HARD!!!!!!

mmm...this is quite profound if i may say so myself

Let's get it started (HA!) Let's ge it started (YEAH!)

2004-12-04T11:05:00.000-08:00

So after having numerous friends (and my li'l sister) having their own blog, I finally decided to join queue of cool (:P) ppl, and create one of my own. So here I am, and there u are...bBoth of us having a lot of time to waste. But then....procrastination makes the world go round. Cheers.
PS: The title is from the BEP songs, incase some of u didn't get it.